I never imagined i could ever marry a Nigerian — Russian woman, Yulia Dyakova
Yulia Dyakova-Adekunle, a Russian-born woman and vice-president, Nigerwives Association (Ibadan branch), in this interview with Yetunde Ajanaku, shares the journey of how she met her Nigerian-husband, challenges of living as interracial couple and passion for giving back through education to the visually impaired.
Can you tell us about your journey to Nigeria and how you have been able to settle down here ?
I’m originally from Russia, born and bred! What brought me to Nigeria? Well, a charming Nigerian man named Oluwashola Israel Adekunle stole my heart and brought me across the world. Guess love can travel really far!
How did you meet your husband, and what made you decide to take that leap into marriage across cultures?
We actually met overseas, in church. He was serving there, and, honestly, marrying an African man was the last thing I expected. During one service, I heard a voice inside me say, “Look at that man.” My first thought was, “No way, he’s African!” But look at me now, I married him.
We were friends for three years and never even talked about marriage. Then one day, he got down on one knee and proposed. I thought there would be earrings in the box, so I was completely shocked to see a ring. Of course, I said yes!
Was marrying a Nigerian something you ever imagined growing up?
Never, not in a million years! I’m from the far North of Russia, a town practically in the Arctic Circle. So, the idea of marrying someone from Africa was geographically impossible for my imagination. When he first mentioned Nigeria, I knew exactly where it was on the map, but my image of life there was very basic: hot weather, banana trees, and people who looked like him. That was all!
What were some of your biggest cultural shocks or adjustments you encountered when you first came to Nigeria?
everything felt like I had landed on another planet! The biggest shock was the unstable electricity and water supply. We had lived in North Africa before, so I thought I was somewhat prepared, but I truly couldn’t imagine being without light or water for days.
Also, I’m still getting used to being stared at and called “oyinbo” all the time. It’s an ongoing adjustment.
What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve experienced about Nigerian culture?
In just a few days, it’ll be 13 years since I first came to Nigeria. It has truly become my home. My husband is Yoruba, and I must say, Yoruba culture deserves a standing ovation for how it teaches young people to respect their elders. The Western world can definitely learn a lot from that. Also, the hospitality here is unmatched. Nigerians are so welcoming. I remember visiting a family in the village who couldn’t find what they felt was “suitable” to offer me ,so they gave me fresh tomatoes. It was such a simple yet beautiful gesture of generosity.
How have you blended your culture at home, food, language, and celebrations.?
I’m very lucky to have a supportive husband. If I ever get lost in translation, he’s my Yoruba interpreter! He’s also open-minded and enjoys my Russian cooking.
We share the kitchen, and our meals are a lovely blend of Russian and Nigerian dishes. We also celebrate Russian holidays — especially New Year’s Eve, which is a huge celebration back home. On December 31st, we gather with other Russian-Nigerian friends, prepare a big feast, and toast each of Russia’s nine time zones before finally celebrating the Nigerian New Year. We also celebrate March 8th (International Women’s Day) and May 9th (Victory Day). At home, we speak English, but our daughter Rebecca understands both Russian and Yoruba.
What do you love about living in Nigeria?
The weather! I’m from the Arctic Circle, where it’s freezing almost year-round. I always dreamed of living somewhere warm. My heavy winter coats are officially retired — and I couldn’t be happier!
What would you say are the most challenging aspects of living here?
Life in Nigeria isn’t easy, especially with the current economic situation. The gap between the rich and the poor is huge, and the middle class is almost gone. Also, sometimes people assume foreigners like me are here to “take” resources. Even though we pay taxes and contribute to society, some still point fingers at us. It can be quite frustrating.
Is there anything you wish could change about how foreigners or interracial couples are treated in Nigeria?
Yes, I really wish there was more tolerance and understanding. For example, as Nigerwives, we’re legally entitled to get the CERPAC(Combined Expatriate Residence Permit and Alien Cards) for free, that is even backed by a court order. Beyond that, I wish people would simply see interracial couples as regular families — not something strange or suspicious.
You’re the vice-president of the Nigerwives Ibadan Branch — how did that come about?
Nigerwives is an association of foreign women married to Nigerian men. It started back in 1979 after women faced issues like visa problems, work discrimination, and being treated unfairly compared to other foreigners.
The group came together to support each other and fight for our rights, and today we have over 300 members from 69 countries across 13 branches in Nigeria.
When I moved here, I honestly thought I was the only foreign woman married to a Nigerian man. Nigerwives showed me I wasn’t alone. I first served as Secretary and now I’m in my second term as vice-president of the Ibadan branch.
What’s the mission of the Nigerwives Association?
We aim to support foreign women married to Nigerians and give back to the Nigerian community. Our biggest national project is the Braille Book Production Centre in Lagos. It prints books for visually impaired students and offers computer training for blind graduates. We even created Braille ballot papers for Nigerian elections.
Here in Ibadan, we support the Omoyeni School for blind children. At our last fundraiser in May, we raised enough to buy manual typewriters — an important skill for visually impaired students.
What are some common challenges white women face when married to Nigerian men?
Unfortunately, there are cases where some men only want to leave Nigeria and see marrying a white woman as an easy ticket out. We’ve heard painful stories of women who came here expecting love but found something else.
There’s also cultural resistance from families who think a white woman won’t fit in or won’t uphold traditions. Thankfully, my husband’s family welcomed me with open arms — if they said anything behind my back, I never heard it.
What outreach programme is your association currently working on?
Our Braille Book Centre in Lagos is ongoing, and our Ibadan branch continues to support the Omoyeni School. We’re always raising funds and working to improve the lives of blind students in our community.
Looking back, how has this journey shaped you as a woman and as a partner?
It’s made me very flexible. Being married to someone from a completely different culture means you have to constantly adjust. If you want your marriage to thrive, you must learn how to compromise — and that applies to all marriages, not just intercultural ones.
What message would you give to someone considering an interracial or intercultural marriage?
Think twice! Seriously though, if you’re not truly ready to adapt and embrace a different culture, it might not be for you. These kinds of marriages are incredibly rich, but they require deep openness and commitment.
What do you hope to see change in Nigeria — or globally — regarding acceptance, love, and cultural understanding?
I hope people realize that bringing someone from another culture into your life doesn’t weaken your identity. it enriches it; It expands your world view and teaches your children tolerance. Love doesn’t stop at borders or skin color.
If you could change one perception people have about interracial marriages, what would it be?
That love chooses race or tribe. It doesn’t. Love is love — and when it finds you, it should be celebrated, not questioned.
