My wife, kids left me for accepting to be king – Ekiti monarch

My wife, kids left me for accepting to be king – Ekiti monarch

The Olojudo of Ido Ekiti, Oba Ayorinde Ilori-Faboro, Ajiboyede III, recently celebrated a momentous milestone—his 70th birthday. In this engaging conversation with ABIODUN NEJO, the monarch reveals that while the transition from sailor to monarch was a formidable choice, the throne has not only elevated his status but also enriched his spirit

What was your upbringing like?

I grew up here in Ikole Ekiti. Life was tough in those days; there was no pipe-borne water and electricity, so we had to go into the bush to fetch water for drinking, washing clothes and plates, and for our parents to bathe.

Every Saturday, we go to the farm to gather firewood. Even if you don’t go to the farm at home, you will at school because the teachers will send you into the bush. The schools had farms, and we learned to carry hoes and cutlasses. Anyone who grew up in Ekiti during our time had to be tough and know how to survive.

My father worked for the Ministry of Agriculture and was transferred frequently. This affected us because we always moved with him. This disrupted my education. As the last child of my father, even when I finished primary six, I had to wait. I was like a houseboy, running errands for him.

It took me a long time to start secondary school, and by the time I entered secondary school, my classmates were in Form Three or Four. Life was not smooth, especially being the last child among many.

Civil servants at that time were very honest; there were no extra earnings, so they had to manage their incomes. If the money was insufficient to pay school fees, you would wait at home and run errands.

How did people cope with waterborne diseases back then?

Life has improved a lot now and people don’t appreciate what God has done for them. Some might say life was better in those days, but it was hell. People died from guinea worm and all kinds of waterborne diseases.

In those days, a woman might have 10 children, but only one would survive—then they would attribute it to Ogbanje or Abiku!

How come we don’t have Ogbanje or Abiku anymore? Things have improved now with potable water and better medical services. Nowadays, if you have six children, all of them can attend university and graduate, but back then, children died a lot.

How many siblings did you have, and how many survived?

Of all my father’s children, only nine survived. My younger sister died and this automatically made me the last child. My father married other women who didn’t have children after my younger sister’s death.

Back then, people didn’t plan; they gave birth indiscriminately, unlike today when families tend to have two or four children.

Nowadays, education is better, income is higher, and the standard of living has improved. In those days, there were no vehicles; we trekked everywhere.

While growing up, did you ever think you would become a monarch?

Initially, no, but later, the intuition came, and I knew that I might become the Olojudo. I kept it to myself because I never liked the idea. In the 80s and 90s, I had a strong feeling that something was going to draw me back to Ido, and I worked against it. I did everything to make it impossible.

I was a sailor, so I was far away from home, but I always dreamt of this town. Every time I dreamed, I would see myself doing something here, and I didn’t understand it. I had the feeling that one day I would settle in this town, whether as a traditional ruler or retiree; I just knew I would return here. I loved this town so much from childhood.

What was the journey to the throne like, especially having to leave your job as a sailor?

It was very difficult. I had to think about my wife and children and wondered if I would bring them down to Ekiti. At that time, Ido was somewhat backward, with no good schools or amenities.

I was worried about the school my children would attend. In fact, my first wife left me because of this decision. I married my present wife after the obaship tussle had begun. I told her I would live in Ekiti, and she agreed. Because she loved me, she was ready to follow me anywhere.

I was working for ExxonMobil as an expatriate, earning in dollars and well compensated. I knew that Obas in Ekiti were poorly paid, so I prepared myself for a zero-income lifestyle. I tried to plan for my future, but one’s plans are often different from God’s plan.

God’s plan is always better than ours, so today, I thank God because I am happy.

How did your children react to the fact that you would become king?

I worked offshore in the oil field, so she (my first wife) had plenty of time to convince them. My children did not like the idea, except for my late son, who was the only one to support me. It was a tough battle. Eventually, we parted ways. My children initially followed their mother, but as they grew older, they realised that their father is a loving man, and they came back to me.

What do you think prepared you for the throne

I I have to be in the palace all the time. I have made the palace as comfortable as possible; it now has a large field and a walkway. I can run in the palace and do anything I want. I don’t go out except if I am going for a meeting at Ado Ekiti or if there is a function somewhere else.

That, for me, is the greatest handicap of being a kabiyesi. At the same time, it is not a handicap. Generally, I have always been a very private person. I am not a party-goer, so it has not changed my life pattern.

Traditional rulers tend to have many wives, what are your thoughts on polygamy?

The man who wants to be polygamous has to desire it. People live their lives the way they see it, so I don’t have any serious objections or encouragement. Everybody will manage his life the way he feels is okay. The only problem I have is – if you marry what you cannot manage, if you have a family that you cannot manage, then it indicates that you are a very poor person and poor in thinking. You should marry the number of women you can feed. I have nothing against polygamy, but you must be able to manage your family and bring your children together so that you they are not divided along maternal line.

For obas, what most are thinking about is succession, that if we go, who takes over, but fortunately for me, I will not be there when they are choosing another Olojudo, so that is not a big problem to me. God will put whoever he wants on the throne. Kabiyesi should not worry about who succeeds him. One thing I believe too is that it is not how many, it is how blessed. Isaac in the Holy Bible was the only son of his father and he became millions. Anybody can be blessed. It is good to have good children, not the number. I don’t believe in number, when you think about number, that is a worldly consideration, but God knows what he is doing, he knows how to multiply, we should not bother about who succeeds us. There are declarations, the government will do the right thing. An oba should just enjoy himself, look after the town and ensure he leaves the town a better place than he met it. Those things should not bother us.

Kabiyesi, how many wives do you have and how many do you intend to have?

I have only one wife. Ngozi is the only wife I have. I am an old man now, I am above 70, anybody who thinks about marrying me now knows that she is on her own. I don’t have such a plan. I cannot start raising children at age 70. I want to enjoy life and make sure the rest of my life is peaceful. That is what concerns me now and not wives. But administratively, kabiyesi needs to have people around him, who tells him what happens in town because we don’t go out, we don’t leave the palace, so we need family, we need friends, male and female, people who are in town, people who will tell us what is happening in town. An oba needs that for administrative reasons, but nowadays with telephone, television, Facebook, WhatsApp, etc. we get to hear what happens in town, but there are some you need people to tell you. An oba needs as many friends as possible.

Do you have any regrets about being a traditional ruler?

No regrets. I am grateful to God. I am thankful every day. I held a thanksgiving service for my 70th birthday recently. The Ekiti State Governor, Biodun Oyebanji; the Deputy Governor, Mrs Monisade Afuye; and members of the state cabinet were here to celebrate with me. If I am not the Olojudo, what will bring them?

Aare Afe Babalola sent me a message and a lot of people—senators and dignitaries—were here, and those who could not come sent messages. All these were because I am kabiyesi.

The position has elevated me. If I had not been kabiyesi, what would I be doing with Baba Afe? What would I be doing with Chief Segun Oni or Governor Oyebanji? I would have had nothing to do with them. I would have been offshore and well paid.

At 70, my friends are still working because there is no retirement age in my profession. If you are not tired, you keep on working and making money, but the money would have no meaning.

I prefer the life I am living now; I prefer where God has brought me. It is better than my plan. I am grateful to God. I have no regrets—none whatsoever. In fact, I thank God for what He has done for me.

You are 70, what changes came with your new age, and what anti-ageing secrets do you have?

There is no secret; it is just my style of living. I live in peace. I don’t pursue anything that will prevent me from sleeping, and I don’t abuse anything. I don’t overeat, I exercise and take long walks in the palace.

I don’t drink or smoke, so I think I am lucky. God is the secret. Maybe I inherited good genes. But above all, this town is fortunate; there is a federal teaching hospital here, and there you can see medical consultants in different specialties without qualms. It is easy; the only thing you have to buy are the drugs. These are the same consultants that people pay millions to see in private hospitals elsewhere.

As chairman of the Ekiti State Traditional Council, how do you think monarchs can contribute more meaningfully to governance?

Obas are in charge of their towns. The best way to help the governor is to look after those towns, ensure there is peace, and make sure there is no agitation or protest. If every town is at peace, the whole state will be peaceful.

We are not politicians, nor are we cabinet members, so the best way we can help the governor is to ensure that each of the towns is well looked after. Every kabiyesi is expected to look after his town.